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‍‍ תשרי / חשון תשסט - October, 2008:

You Call That a Road? Part 1

‍‍ד תשרי תשסט - Oct 31st, 2008
by LB.
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As some of you may know, I spent some time over the past year in various places around Asia. One of the things I realized was how much we, in the developed world, take the quality of our roads for granted. I’ve spent entire days and entire nights on buses, and on other vehicles the locals think are buses, going at the breakneck speed of about 40 kmh (25 mph). It’s not that the these drivers were especially cautious, quite the contrary. Take a bus ride in India, and you will suddenly have a much more positive view of Israeli driving. The roads are just that bad. In many places you couldn’t see the road for the potholes. Literally.

Of all the places I’ve been around the world, the country with the absolute worst infrastructure was Laos. (For the somewhat geographically challenged among you, Laos is a landlocked country in southeast Asia, just north of Thailand and west of Vietnam). Don’t get me wrong, I had a great time in Laos, I really loved it. The city of Luang Prabang is one of the most beautiful cities I’ve ever had the pleasure of visiting. The city is located at the confluence of two rivers, the famous Mekong and its lesser known tributary, the Nam Khan. The city looks like what you would expect, considering its an Asian city heavily influenced by the French. Oh, and they have great coffee. For the coffee drinking vagabonds among you, keep in mind that Asians don’t drink much real coffee. We spent days on end in Nepal in search of “black coffee”, only to be presented time and time again with Nestlé’s contribution to globalization – Nescafé. That, however, is part of another story.

I was going from Luang Prabang to Phongsali, and as you can guess, I was moving much slower than 40 kmh.  I spent about 24 hours on a bus in order to traverse a distance of about just over 200 km (about 130 miles). For the sake of comparison, that is more or less the same as the distance between Philaedlphia and Washington, DC. In Israel – the distance between Be’er Sheva and Eilat is 241 km (150 miles). Not exactly a distance one thinks will take that much more than three hours.

Anyway, Luang Prabang was nice, but I was going to meet a friend of mine in Phongsali, in Laos’s far north. Phongsali is so close to the Chinese-Lao border that many of the town’s inhabitants don’t even speak Lao, they only speak Mandarin.

I didn’t know exactly when (communication in that part of the world is also pretty sparse), but my friend was supposed to be in Phongsali sometime during that week, so I decided to take a chance and just go. In fact, I bought my bus ticket only about an hour before the bus was supposed to leave. I hadn’t packed yet, and the bus station (assuming I get a tuk-tuk driver who actually goes to the right station) was about 30 minutes away. So I rushed back to my overpaid guesthouse room ($10 a night is really too much in that part of the world), stuffed my life at the time in my oversized backpack, hailed a tuk-tuk and was on my way.

Like I said, outside of the third world this is not such a daunting prospect, but this was Laos, not Highway 6. I finally left Luang Prabang at about 13:30 (the bus was scheduled to leave 30 minutes earlier, so we were more or less on time). Of course, I was the only Westerner on the bus, which made for an interesting ride. Most other passengers attempted to make use of their extremely limited English. I was repeated asked things like “You from?” and “You Phongsali?”, and when hearing that was indeed where I was headed, most were both throroughly impressed and surprised that a lone Westerner would dare or even want to make the trip up there (most of the passengers did not go nearly that far, and got off at villages along the way). After a few hours, we stopped for dinner at a rest-stop of the drivers choosing (kickbacks are big in southeast Asia):

img_19741

During the break, I discovered there was one person on the bus who did speak a little conversational English, an enthusiastic college student who obviously studies in a college where English is not considered a high priority. We didn’t have any deep discussions but, at the very least, though, he could ask the “restaurant” owner at the rest-stop to describe the ingredients in the various interesting dishes she was serving. I ended up eating potato chips (no, not the seafood flavored variety) and a few chocolate bars.

NEXT: I find out that bus rides are not a nightly activity in some parts of Laos, get a welcome surprise, and encounter the wild north.

Peace Now Does Not Like Free Speech

‍‍ב חשון תשסט - Oct 30th, 2008
by LB.
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The annual media brouhaha is here already. Next Tuesday will mark 13 years (according to the Gregorian calendar) since Rabin’s death. In the beginning, this date was marked by many events geared towards healing rifts between the Right and Left in Israel (both political and religious). In Novembers, however, Yigal Amir has been in the headlines more than national healing sessions.

Amir is a controversial figure in Israel, to say the least. There are groups of people who want to pardon him. There are groups of people who want him to rot in jail. There are those probably who don’t even care, but express the prevalent opinion (that would be the latter) for social reasons. There was the issue of whether or not the courts should allow his marriage to Larisa Trembovler. Obviously, the question of children then came up because obviously a politically unpopular criminal should be denied the basic rights afforded to other criminals.

This year, slightly less explosive then the ridiculous issues I mentioned, Yigal Amir was interviewed by Channel 10 in which he said, among other things that will surely get much more coverage than deserved, that he could have killed Rabin earlier than November of 1995, and that “all the military experts said that the Oslo Accord was a disaster.”

Of course, Peace Now (an organization that does not promote peace, not now and not later) had to get involved and, in typical fashion, is trying to quash viewpoints they view as “unacceptable.” Yariv Oppenheimer, Secretary-General of Peace Now, called on the media not to publish the interview (sorry, Hebrew. Why do the news sites not translate these things?) because “the murderer and his followers are attempting to control the public discourse and relay unacceptable message. The media must…not provide them with a outlet.”

First, Oppenheimer is trying to block someone else from expressing himself, regardless of what he actually wants to say. Free speech is clearly not an ideal he values. Second, the media’s responsibility is to report on what is newsworthy. Newsworthiness is not decided by NGOs, but by the public’s interest. Unfortunately, the public has deemed this issue newsworthy.

Not only are they against free speech, they are not even consistent on whether or not murderers should allow themselves to avail themselves of this right. When is the last time Peace Now protested a media outlet interviewing somone like, say, Jibril Rajoub?

Israelis and Drugs and India, Oh My

‍‍א חשון תשסט - Oct 30th, 2008
by LB.
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I understand the appeal of drugs. I also understand the appeal of money. However, when those two are combined with stupidity, it results, more often that not, in bad decisions.

A 22-year old Israeli, like many others his age, traveled throughout India and had a great time. During his trip he encountered the wonder that is Himalayan-grown hash, and probably enjoyed it a great deal. He decided he didn’t want the fun to end and that he could probably also make a quick buck by introducing Israelis who have not been to India to that same wonder.

This guy came up with an idea (sorry, couldn’t find an English version), which I’m sure he thought was brilliant and fool-proof. Why not swallow dozens of grams of hash before the flight home? Surely, he would outsmart the Israeli authorities at the airport. His luck ran out, however, and shortly after landing, he was arrested and had an x-ray taken of his stomach. He was then placed in a bathroom stall while detectives of the Tel Aviv District waited for him to “do his business.” His arraignment is scheduled for tomorrow.

India really is a wonderful place, and in India, like in many other third-world countries, many bend and break the law with few consequences (not that I advocate doing so). When approaching the end of such a long trip in India, many travelers are not very eager to leave, and want to prolong the “India experience” as much as possible. Too often, this gives some people a distorted view of reality, and so they attempt something stupid, and end up being taught a lesson the hard way. Why do so many keep doing this? Can they really not foresee the outcome?

Big Brother Wants You to Jump Off the Roof

‍‍ל תשרי תשסט - Oct 29th, 2008
by LB.
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I don’t know anyone who has real faith in the Israeli government. Faith in the IDF? Well, that’s an entirely different issue, but faith in the government – not so much. So it would be pretty obvious that I want such an organization to have as little control over me as possible. In this day and age, much more than in the past, information is the key to control.

That is why the Knesset’s latest move is more than just wrong, it’s scary. Much more harm than good can ever come out of the government possessing a massive biometric database of all citizens. The vote over this bill, which has only passed a first reading in the Knesset (meaning it has two more to go), passed 18-1. How can only 19 Knesset Members do away with basic civil liberties so easily?

It is a bit odd to find myself agreeing with Dov Khenin of Hadash (the only MK who voted against the bill). Disagreeing with the overly inflammatory Aryeh Eldad of the National Union is generally pretty easy, but not usually on major issues. This time he has really crossed the line. In claiming that “those opposing the bill are mostly crooks and felons,” he shows that he has no respect for the democratic process, or for anyone who ever disagrees with him. Thus, he is denying that his opponents on this matter have any valid points, pejoratively lumping civil rights proponents along with criminals.

One of the goals of this bill, which carries with it a maximum sentence of one year in jail for refusing to give biometric samples, is to tackle forgeries of ID cards, which is a real problem in Israel. However, IDs in Israel are overly easy to forge are not scannable, and make a New Jersey driver’s license seem like a challenge to forge. What Israel needs to do is design a new ID card – not eliminate basic privacy rights.

The inept and corrupt police would also have access to this database, however, they would need a court order to do so. The courts are not exactly clean themselves, and yet they would be able to determine whether or not your private information is made completely public (leaks from the police are are more common than rain in Israel).

In addition, the current Knesset’s authority to carry out such a far-reaching decision is questionable. Yes, it is legally allowed to pass bills, but in a parliamentary system where the people push the government out every so often, a lame duck Knesset really ought to act its part. This means only dealing with urgent legislation, not continuing, business as usual. Olmert’s resignation (though not yet in effect), coupled with Livni’s inability to form a coalition which led to the upcoming elections (Feb. 10, 2009), not to mention the people’s utter disgust with the current government, make the current Knesset’s mandate to pass sweeping legislation extremely minimal. If only elected officials in Israel actually acted as representatives of the people…

Finally, Minister of the Interior, Meir Sheetrit, in an attempt to justify the bill said that “the entire world is going biometric.” To paraphrase my mother – if the entire world jumped off the roof, would you?

Financial Crisis to Inadvertently Help Israel?

‍‍ל תשרי תשסט - Oct 29th, 2008
by LB.
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Maybe something good can come out of the financial crisis that has ravaged stock markets everywhere. According to Aluf Benn the crisis “will force Israel to give up some of the aid it receives from the United States.” Benn suggest that in order to “prevent embarrassment and pressure, Israel would do well to initiate an aid reduction itself.” A reduction is only a step in the right direction. But Benn is wrong in characterizing such a move as a punishment for Israel. As I have said more than once, this aid is harming, much more than it is actually aiding, Israel.

Other than the seemingly valid justifications of American aid (economic assistance and US commitment to Israel and the IDF), Benn is of the opinion that “it is important for Israel to be at the top of the chart of recipients of American aid” as “a component of Israeli deterrence.” Absolutely not. In order for Israel to build up its deterrence effectively it needs to develop its own military industry, stop relying on this American crutch and eliminate any international perception of Israel as an American puppet.

Yes, “Israel’s critics in the United States argue that the military aid distorts the allocation of resources,” favoring “the most aggressive army in the Middle East…and indirectly deepening the Muslim world’s hatred of America.” Why contribute to their arsenal of lies, especially when we would be better off being truly independent? While making no judgment about American financial priorities, the aid does distort the allocation of resources – in Israel. It allows the Israel to be financially negligent and maintain a wasteful defense budget.

Benn adds that “there will also be an incentive to become more efficient.” I don’t understand. Why does one need an incentive to become efficient? American aid is a disincentive to become efficient, however, and the Israeli public sector is already much too wasteful. Providing an additional incentive to be inefficient is just not smart.

Saying that as a result of a reduction, or even an end, to American aid, the “IDF will need to pull long-term projects and put off equipping new planes and ships” is a misrepresentation of the big picture. While that might be the case in the short-term, in the long run the Israeli security forces will be much better off. We will be doing the research and development ourselves, promoting the domestic defense industry and the economy overall, we will be supplying ourselves, ending Israel’s reliance on the capriciousness of the U.S. Government.

Criminals Belong in Jail

‍‍כט תשרי תשסט - Oct 28th, 2008
by LB.
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Last basketball season, Yossi Malach threw a firecracker onto the court during a game in Jerusalem, resulting in the Yoav Glizenstein, a security guard’s, loss of two fingers. About a month ago, he was sentenced to three years in prison and 150,000 NIS in compensation, to be paid to Glizenstein.

This complete douchebag is now appealing his sentence (sorry, only in Hebrew), claiming the sum of money the court ordered him to pay the security guard is much higher than truly appropriate. His lawyers assert that this is Malach’s first encounter with the law, and that he has expressed remorse for his actions. Therefore the punishment handed down is too “severe” only in order to serve as a warning (למען יראו וייראו – so that people will see and fear) to future offenders.

First of all, BS. This is likely Malach’s first encounter with the law only because the police in Israel are so incompetent and lazy. If the police actually did their job, he probably would have a fairly full rap sheet.

Second of all, who cares? Even if this was his first offense, and that he was a good boy up until that day, how does that exculpate him, or even minimize the offense in any way? He knowingly brought contraband into the stadium that day, with the intension to use it (why else would he smuggle in a firecracker?), and fully cognizant of the harm it could cause.

Third, with the current state of crime in Israel, meting out punishments as a deterrent is not a half bad idea. In any case, the last people who have any right to complain about it are the offenders themselves. If you don’t like the punishment – don’t commit the crime in the first place.

Hummus?

‍‍כט תשרי תשסט - Oct 28th, 2008
by LB.
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Here, in America, seeing the word Hummus on a restaurant menu generally makes me shudder. Hummus is a food that has become chic, cool. However, the average American has not the faintest idea what hummus really is.

Here’s a hint. If it looks like an scoop of ice cream and its served with “pita chips,” then it’s NOT hummus. I honestly have no idea how hummus has gotten so popularized if Americans have only had inedible substances whose only resemblance to hummus is that they contain chickpeas (garbanzo beans).

I happened to catch Guy’s Big Bite, on the Food Network, the other day, and he was making something, which he called hummus. Here are a few of the things that went into that goo, which I can only be glad that it was on TV and not on my plate (or anyone else’s, who I care about): jalapeño, chipotle, and roasted red bell peppers. All of these are products which do not go in hummus. I am not against adding hot spices to your hummus – but that happens when you eat it, not during the preparation. That is why hummus, in any place worth its salt, is served with a spicy sauce, known as s’hug.

Furthermore, hummus is definitely not ever served with “toasted pita bread.” Saying “pita bread” is the same as saying “bread bread” (or even “bauguette bread” and more to the point פיתת לחם, خبز خبز, and other such mistakes like “naan bread”). Also, heat the pita, don’t toast it.

Another mistake I saw on TV that day, was the host opening a can of chickpeas and simply pouring them into the food processor. When making hummus, you must, MUST, wash the chickpeas numerous times, to make the “hummus” even edible. Moreover, if you want your hummus to be good, even if you use canned chickpeas, you have to boil them and remove most the skins, from most of the individual beans.

The biggest mistake, however, was the lack of tehina (sometimes called tahini). For hummus to be really good it must include tehina. Apparently there are other authentic versions that replace tehina with ful or with labaneh, but simply mashing chickpeas (with other vegetables, no less) does not result in hummus.

In any case, my favorite version of hummus is masabacha, at Abu Hassan (Ali Karavan) in Yaffo (sorry, I can’t find an appropriate link in English).

Calling the product made on that show “hummus” is tantamount to libel. The host made a product and called it hummus, despite the minimal resemblance it had to the real thing. And then people wonder why hummus is referred to as a “diarrhea-like substance.”

Overheard in Hebrew

‍‍כח תשרי תשסט - Oct 27th, 2008
by LB.
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For those of you who speak Hebrew and are familiar with the type of blog popularized by Overheard in New York, another time wasting tool is now available.

גונב לאזניי, with the clever subtitle of “ציטוטים של ציתותים” is basically Overheard in Israel, and will provide you with endless hours of entertainment, ensuring you get absolutely nothing done.

Your Vote Does Not Matter

‍‍כח תשרי תשסט - Oct 27th, 2008
by LB.
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The purpose of a large democratic system is to give the public the illusion that they have a real role in running their country, and that their vote actually counts.

In the U.S. this is very obvious, primarily when ones learns of the Electoral College. However, abolishing of the current system will not lead to more voters with any real influence. On the contrary, instead of focusing on swing states, (or “battleground states,” as the news networks here have decided to call them), campaigns will then only focus on the largest media markets. In that case, voters in New York, California and Chicago might actually be courted by campaigns, but New Hampshire, Iowa and all of the “flyover states” can forget about ever mattering again.

In Israel, the average vote actually carries much more weight, both because of the relatively small size of the country, and because there is actually a real state-wide general election. However, a voter in Israel cannot vote for the person of his or her choice. Rather, the arcane parliamentary system, based wholly on lists, wrests any power a voter might have had from his hands and delivers it promptly into the laps of the corrupt members of the various parties. Thus, Knesset Members are accountable primarily to the members of their parties, and corruption ensues (see: Likud with Ariel Sharon at the helm in 2005).

Israel must adopt a system of regional representation. No, it will not eliminate the danger of corruption, but it will make elected officials slightly more accountable to the people they are, in theory, supposed to be serving. Maybe that way the Negev and the Galil might actually get the attention they deserve. Maybe Jerusalem will be more than just a symbol, and move towards being more of a real city than simply a tourist attraction. I know, I know, but one can dream…

Back in the western hemisphere, Sarah Silverman has decided it is a great idea for young American Jews to schlep (her choice of words, not mine) down to Florida, to try and convince their grandparents to vote for Obama. Apart from the initial chutzpah, implying that the only reason the Jewish elderly would vote for someone like McCain is because they are misguided and need to be educated of their wrong views, the overall tone of the video is just plain insulting, and wrong on more than issue. Nevertheless, it appears that if she wants to encourage mass migrations of Jews across America in order to convince people to vote for Obama, it appears she should actually get Florida’s Jewish senior citizenry to try and influence their children.

That doesn’t change the fact that the average vote in most places in America does not matter at all. Referencing Sarah Silverman’s gall, Gail Collins wants her vote to matter. “While it’s not clear that many of these trips have actually taken place, it is probably a bad sign that we have not heard any talk about McCain urging retired WASPs in Arizona to go to Wisconsin and try to talk their grandchildren into voting Republican.”

Being Jewish

‍‍כח תשרי תשסט - Oct 26th, 2008
by LB.
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Pigs have apparently begun to fly. I actually agree with Yosef Paritzki on something. Writing in Ynet, Paritzki complains about the ignorance of Judaism bred by the Israeli public school system.

The secular school system used to pride itself on the level of Jewish education it provided. Unlike today, Judaism was not equated with religious belief. Rather, to be Jewish was to be part of the Jewish nation, and studying Judaism was to learn one’s own heritage, history, and to understand what makes us a nation, and not just a bunch of people who have shared memories of persecution in foreign countries. High school graduates knew the Bible backwards and forwards, knew our people’s history, and were taught not by “‘religious” teachers, but rather, by liberated teachers who loved the Bible very deeply as the Jewish people’s most important cultural and literary work.”

Things have changed significantly since, and not for the better. Paritzki’s implicit criticism of Zevulun Hammer, valid though it may be, is a political issue and the situation today calls for a solution, not for arguments over recent political history.

Being Jewish is not based solely on the belief in a religious doctrine. It is being a part of an ancient tradition, being part of a nation being rebuilt in its homeland. We should know who we are and we where come from, whether or not we think we are standing in front of anyone.

I might never repeat these words, but Paritzki is right. “The Education Ministry must go back to the glory days and maintain the many forms of Jewish culture studies in Israel. Israelis are allowed not to believe, but they should be familiar with what they choose not to believe in.” I’m tempted to try and correct him, that Jews, not just Israelis, are allowed not to believe, but is we are closer to a day where the word Jew is synonymous with the word Israeli, that that’s alright with me.

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